Two Big Words

The Dash Poem by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of his friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard…
are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
That can still be rearranged

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile…
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy’s being read
with your life’s actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?

What Man Hasn’t Squandered a Life Changing Event?

What Man Hasn't Squandered a Life Changing Event? Editor's note: This is a guest post from Tyler Tervooren from Advanced Riskology. The other day I asked myself, "Tyler, how long has it been since you've recognized yourself?" That's a pretty funny question when you think about it. But the truth is the me that I know today is less than two years old. My life has changed dramatically in the last 20 months—by accident at first when I was fired from my job, and then slowly but surely on purpose as I learned about what really motivated me to make significant changes in my life. To say I'm happier now is an understatement. When I look at pictures of myself from a few years ago—slightly overweight, mildly depressed, and generally bored—I can't help but feel a bit sorry for the old me. If only Old Tyler had learned earlier what New Tyler knows now… I turned 27 a few weeks ago. Birthdays have a funny way of making you examine what the hell you're doing with your life. If you're lucky, you won't come out of it too depressed. And for the first time in a long time, I was excited about the year ahead. And what about the year ahead of you? This is your life after all, and time seems to speed up with each one that passes. If you're waiting to make a change for the better, then what, exactly, are you waiting for? Me? I was waiting for something big to happen—a sign from the universe that told me it was time to change. Lucky for me, I got it when I was fired from my job. But should I have needed that? I don't think so. I certainly don't feel like I need it now. I'm capable of any change I want to make—with or without any galactic message. The truth is, these kinds of messages surround me every day if I'm willing to look for them. What Man Hasn't Squandered a Life-Changing Event? Human nature tells us to strive for more: own more, do more, be more. As a man, this is both your gift and your plight. And while we've learned to accept and attenuate our desires to have and do more, what man goes a day without wishing to be more? And is that such a bad thing? Is it not required of us, as men, to attempt to be more each and every day? To be more faithful and less capricious? More dependable and less inconsistent? Filled more with life and less with burden? What man doesn't wish to be better tomorrow than he is today? And what man who doesn't deserves tomorrow at all? So we aim, strive, and toil to improve, but so many of us find improvement fleeting. Improvement means change. And change is hard. Change is uncomfortable. Change is risky. Despite the intense desire to pursue it, our habits of yesterday tend to win the fight for the future—the best predictor of how a man will behave tomorrow is how that man behaved yesterday. So how does a man, flawed as every other and steeped in responsibility and other burdens, change his position to become better? How does he begin to reconcile the difference between the man he sees in the mirror and the man he constructs in his mind? The answer, perhaps, is not so complicated: He alters himself in response to a life-changing event. The Life-Changing Event as a Force for Revolution If motivation is the missing ingredient for a man to make a change in his life and follow his dream, then fear is almost certainly the culprit. This fear stems from the risk that if he were to try, it may not work. Failure, they tell us, is something to be celebrated, but science tells us—and a man knows intuitively—that depression is the result when we try and fail to change something important. These are large hurdles to overcome, yet nothing makes overcoming them easier than a truly life-changing event, and almost every man has experienced one in his life. The unexpected loss of a job, a messy divorce, a death in the family, or the prognosis of a terminal illness. These types of unwanted traumas, time and time again, produce massively positive changes in those fortunate/unfortunate enough to experience them. Life-changing events work because the unsolicited stress they produce is many orders of magnitude greater than the changes that used to seem enormous and insurmountable. They raise a man's stress threshold. When you can look at yourself and objectively say, "Everything in my life has changed, and the world will never be the same again," what seemed impossible before, now becomes inevitable. If you were given six months to live, would you spend your day tomorrow the same way that you plan to spend it now? What if you separated from your wife or girlfriend with the knowledge that you'll never be together again? Would you behave the same as you did yesterday, or would you immediately make a change? If tomorrow you lost the job you hate but can't imagine leaving, would you immediately look for another one you'd hate, or might you apply a little different criteria to the work you're willing to do? Without a doubt, a truly life-changing event can take a man's dreams and make them a reality in rather short order. The problem, of course, is that you get no control over these things. You have no say in when an event like this will come, so instead, you wait impatiently for one to arrive, all the while praying that it never actually occurs. But in the meantime while we wait for these life-changing events, we're squandering many smaller ones every day. Mini Life-Changing Events: How a Man Changes His World on Purpose Perhaps the reason we need such enormous events to make an appreciable difference in our lives is because the changes we want to make are equally enormous. When our desires are overwhelming, so to must be the events that precipitate them. So, what if you were to dial down your desire? Cut it in half. Then cut it in half again. And again. What if you dissected your desire for change until you had something so small and commonplace that it took almost no effort at all to achieve? Then what kind of life-changing event would be necessary to motivate you to act? An equally small one. And what if you multiplied these changes over time? What could you accomplish in a week, a month, a year if you acted on one unremarkable life change each day? What kind of remarkable things might they add up to? Who might you become then? Each and every day, we wander through the world, manipulating it as we go. And with each step we take, breath we breathe, word we utter, the world manipulates us back. Each of these moments has the potential to be the catalyst for the world's tiniest revolution, if only you repair your filter to allow yourself to see them. But with no milestones to guide the way, they'll go unnoticed—squandered by a need for too much, too soon. Just as the savvy card player looks for an opportunity in every hand rather than waiting to be dealt a royal flush, so must you look for an opportunity in every moment of every day. The card player may need $1 million to win the tournament, but he must get there $1,000 at a time. You may need to turn your life 180 degrees, but you must get there in excruciating 1-degree pivots. The beauty, of course, is that these tiny actions don't act independently. And they don't only add together, they multiply. Each step, each pivot, builds momentum in an exciting new direction. The card player may start by winning $1,000 hands, but with several of those behind him, $10,000 hands become the new normal. Before long, he is winning $100,000 hands and his ultimate goal is at the tip of his fingers. To begin this process, though, a man must wake himself up—not in a physical sense, but in a perceptual one. The Awakening of a Man to the Realization of His Dream Once a man realizes that the task in front of him is to make many small changes over time, his immediate goal must be to wake himself up in a way that will allow him to estimate the changes needing to be made. To do so, he must make three critical adjustments to his life: The tuning of his perception filter The deceleration of the speed of his life The reframing of his daily experiences By focusing his attention here, he can prepare himself to take advantage of the many life-changing events each day that were never noticed before. The tuning of your perception filter In order to make tiny changes, you must prepare yourself to see the tiny things that precipitate them. Where you previously waited for life to hand you a striking blow, you now must turn up the dial on the microscope and become sensitive to the many small events that happen each day that affect how you behave. By tuning your perception filter to a finer lens, you prepare yourself to take in the many otherwise unnoticed events in your life. Rather than seeing a bad day, you'll see the individual things that went wrong that lead up to such a day. And you'll notice the things that went right, but weren't good enough to overcome your negative feelings. More importantly, you'll see the way you reacted to each event so that you might start to alter the way you behave when a similar event occurs again. Instead of seeing your boss as a jerk, you'll see the minute characteristics that make you feel this way about him. You'll pinpoint the problem, and then you'll see how you react to him so that you may alter your own behavior. Rather than seeing a task as too hard, you'll see the many small parts of the task—the ones that are easy to complete, and the ones that will keep you from finishing it. This will allow you to see where your attention must be focused to improve and complete the work. With the ever finer tuning of your perception filter and each alteration of your behavior, you'll begin to build small successes that add up to a sum much larger than its parts. The deceleration of the speed of life In a modern world, your life is allowed to move at whichever speed you choose for it. And the predominant setting for most men is "fast," so you're likely to default there without consciously deciding on it. But once you've adjusted your perception filter to take in more of life, fast becomes incompatible with your new settings. Fast results in information overload and makes it nearly impossible to choose and analyze the most important micro life events that will allow you to make the progress you want. When you drive through a city, how much detail do you notice? If you were to travel back through on a bicycle, what might you see then? And if you took the whole day and simply walked across it, what kind of relationship would you build with that place that would have been impossible from a car? The goal now is to place the emphasis of your actions on "effective" over "efficient." You must give yourself the opportunity to see the right pieces of life to be worked on. When you move slowly, this is easy to do. But if you move too quickly, it's very difficult because the temptation to "just get things done" becomes more and more pervasive. In practical terms, this may mean removing yourself from regular social habits and replacing them with solitude where you can reflect on your day. Or it might mean refusing an extra task at work so that you can give your full attention to the project that's most important to your success. When life slows down, improvement speeds up. The reframing of your daily experiences Perhaps the biggest problem that a man wanting to change his life faces is his frame of reference. When life is diverging from the path that you want it to be on, it's easy to feel defeated and begin to look at each day as something to get past, hoping that the next one will go better. Unfortunately, with this viewpoint, it won't. If this exists in you, then it's critical that your perception change before progress can be made. Instead of looking at each day as something to get past, you must reframe it as a series of events to get through instead. When you attempt to get past something, the details don't matter. But when you're trying to get through something, you begin to place more emphasis on the method that you use to get through it. This may seem inconsequential—both of these ways through life are less than ideal—but the difference is important. By allowing yourself to focus on details, you enable yourself to manipulate them. And by allowing yourself to manipulate them, you set yourself up to change them in ways that align with who you really want to be; you open yourself up to the process of change. A Man on the Right Path What man hasn't squandered a life-changing event? Likely no man at all. But with an improvement-minded attitude and the right perspective, any man can take control of what seems like a wild and unpredictable world, and spare himself from squandering any more. He can begin to do this by refining his perception filter, slowing the speed of his life, and reframing his daily experiences. And hopefully he will, because even though these life-changing events are all around us each day, their numbers are finite, and one day every man will find himself without any more ahead of him. Let no man forget that the quest to become who he desires to be is not only possible, it is also urgent. Go forth and be more.

 

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2012-chevrolet-camaro-convertible

SLR iPhone

As the technology that powers smartphone cameras has steadily improved, the point-and-shoot has become an endangered species. Taking pictures with a smartphone has become so popular, it even has its own name: iPhoneography, or smartphoneography for those with non-Apple mobile phones.




Still, smartphone cameras have some limitations. For example, because of the constraints of the lens, it is almost impossible to snap a really good close-up or a really good distance shot.

But now that, too, is changing.

Companies are producing dozens of inexpensive smartphone attachments that can easily convert a mobile phone into a mini-professional camera. These products include zoom, fisheye and ultra-up-close macro lenses — all designed to snap onto a smartphone and make photos look as if they were shot with an expensive single-lens reflex camera. And for the most part, they are easy to use.

Photojojo, a San Francisco-based online company, sells smartphone camera attachments from various makers. Many are iPhone-related products. The site offers everything from serious telephoto lenses to goofy kaleidoscope attachments, priced from $15 to $250.

One of Photojojo’s most popular products is a kit of three lenses, for $50, which will work with most smartphones. The kit includes a fisheye lens to capture wide-angle images, a macro lens for close-up detail shots and a telephoto lens for objects or people far away. The lenses can also be purchased individually for $20 to $25.

The lenses all come with a small magnetic ring that sticks to the back of a smartphone, and they can be attached to the ring when in use. Just connect the appropriate lens, snap a photo and disconnect. No fiddling with f-stops, apertures or other confusing camera adjustments.

“People don’t have to be intimidated by photography anymore,” said Jen Giese, Photojojo’s store manager. “With a smartphone and some easy-to-use lenses, they don’t need to know anything about photography or lighting to take great pictures. It’s become extremely accessible.”

For iPhone-toting paparazzi who want to snap a picture of Lindsay Lohan at a bar, Photojojo sells a powerful telephoto lens kit for $35. This lens can zoom up to eight times as close as a normal iPhone camera. But don’t expect to go unnoticed with this attachment; the lens is three inches long and makes your iPhone look like a C.I.A. secret weapon.

Olloclip, a company based in Huntington Beach, Calif., makes a three-in-one attachment for the iPhone 4 and 4S. The Olloclip, as the attachment is called, doesn’t require magnets; it clips around the edge of the iPhone, covering the camera with a different lens. It’s quick and simple to use. The lens options include a fisheye, which can capture a field of view up to 180 degrees, a wide-angle lens and a macro lens that allows people to get as close as 10 millimeters from a subject. The Olloclip costs $70 and includes all three lenses, and can be purchased from the company’s Web site.

Pixeet sells a 360-degree fisheye lens for $50 that works with almost any brand of phone or tablet. To use it, you download free software from the company’s Web site that can then convert the images into interactive zoomable spaces. The photos allow people to navigate a virtual image on their computer, swooping with the click of a mouse.

There are also a number of cheap, wacky lens attachments. Photojojo sells a kit for $15 that includes starburst attachment that blurs the edge of an image; it also sells a kaleidoscope attachment. A quick Google search can find other unusual options, too.

Of course, every photographer with a kit of lenses needs a tripod.

One of the most popular iPhone 4 tripods is the Glif, made by a company called Studio Neat, that costs $20. It’s a sleek rubber mount that looks more like a travel toothbrush that a tripod. It can balance an iPhone at different angles on flat surfaces. The Glif can also screw into a regular tripod, making it perfect for avid iPhoneographers too. Using a tripod and free third-party software available in the iTunes Store, the smartphone can snap long-exposure photos at night, or timed images during the day.

Although not as slick as the Glif, there are dozens of other tripod mounts available on Amazon.com that will work with any brand of smartphone.

There are also attachments for experienced photographers who already own high-end camera equipment. Photojojo, for example, sells an iPhone S.L.R. camera mount for $250 that can attach Nikon or Canon lenses from a normal 35mm camera. Although this attachment can take unbelievable pictures, the set-up is not easy. The kit comes with several attachments that can take some time to put together, and it can feel a little like overkill for an iPhone. But, if you have the knowledge and patience, the stunning photos it can take can be worth the time.

For those just getting started in smartphone photography, Web sites offer tutorials and tips. Several, including Meetup, offer walking tours with a smartphone, letting people snap away in the wild and teaching the art.

Last month in San Francisco, hundreds of smartphone photographers attended the 1197 conference, where photojournalists and authors offered talks about tricks they have learned. The name of the conference commemorated the date that the first camera phone photo was taken, June 11, 1997. Similar conferences are expected in the future.

Meanwhile, there’s the AstroClip — a plan to produce an attachment that would marry an iPhone to a telescope or microscope. It’s the brainchild of Matthew Geyster, a designer in Massachusetts. Mr. Geyster said in a phone interview that he couldn’t share any details about a possible release date for the gadget just yet. He said the idea, though, is to let people metaphorically travel into space on their iPhone, snapping high-quality pictures of the moon and the stars.

love word

CENTURY_BALLROOM

ANY_WAY_YOU_LOOK_AT_IT

JAZZ_FOR_RUBY

TANGO

Dancers

http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_9372000/9372885.stm

Signs of ageing halted

Signs of ageing halted in the lab

By James Gallagher Health reporter, BBC News

The onset of wrinkles, muscle wasting and cataracts has been delayed and even eliminated in mice, say researchers in the US.

It was done by "flushing out" retired cells that had stopped dividing. They accumulate naturally with age.

The scientists believe their findings could eventually "really have an impact" in the care of the elderly.

Experts said the results were "fascinating", but should be taken with a bit of caution.

The study, published in Nature, focused on what are known as "senescent cells". They stop dividing into new cells and have an important role in preventing tumors from progressing.

These cells are cleared out by the immune system, but their numbers build up with time. The researchers estimated that around 10% of cells are senescent in very old people.

I've never seen anything quite like it”

Quote Dr James Kirkland

Cleanup

Scientists at the Mayo Clinic, in the US, devised a way to kill all senescent cells in genetically engineered mice.

The animals would age far more quickly than normal, and when they were given a drug, the senescent cells would die.

The researchers looked at three symptoms of old age: formation of cataracts in the eye; the wasting away of muscle tissue; and the loss of fat deposits under the skin, which keep it smooth.

Researchers said the onset of these symptoms was "dramatically delayed" when the animals were treated with the drug.

When it was given after the mice had been allowed to age, there was an improvement in muscle function.

One of the researchers, Dr James Kirkland, said: "I've never seen anything quite like it."

His colleague Dr Jan van Deursen told the BBC: "We were very surprised by the very profound effect. I really think this is very significant."

The treatment had no effect on lifespan, but that may be due to the type of genetically engineered mouse used.

Eternal youth?

The study raises the tantalizing prospect of slowing the signs of ageing in humans. However, senescent cells cannot be just flushed out of human beings.

Dr Deursen said: "I'm very optimistic that this could really have an impact. Nobody wants to live longer if the quality of life is poor."

He argued that young people were already clearing out their senescent cells.

"If you can prime the immune system, boost it a little bit, to make sure senescent cells are removed, that might be all it needs.

"Or develop a drug that targets senescent cells because of the unique proteins the cells make."

Dr Jesus Gil, from the Medical Research Council's Clinical Sciences Centre, said the findings needed to be "taken with a bit of caution. It is a preliminary study".

However, he said it was a fascinating study which "suggests if you get rid of senescent cells you can improve phenotypes [physical traits] associated with ageing and improve quality of life in aged humans".

The 2012 Karma - Electric Car

Sometime in the next 2 years, I would like to get an electric vehicle, either a Tesla, Fisker Karma, or Prius. 

Restoration Hardware vintage-games

Architectural Anarchy

A War For Your Soul-Birmingham version from Erisai Films on Vimeo.

Hiawathad Art

ART by Hiawathad

Shoe-Care

Passport Wallet

Chester Mox #116 Passport

Posted: 14 Nov 2011 04:51 PM PST

If you foster a passion for masterfully constructed thick hides, then the young label Chester Mox provides the right tidbits for you. The #116 passport is made with pure Chromexcel tan Horween leather and an attentive eye caring for the thick seams, hand-buffed and burnished edges and the whole journey-ready finish. The inside offers three sections for notes, plastic and the passport this travel essential is made for.

the measure of a man

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Tux

I bought a Tux this year, and hope to have it taylored for Christmas season parties

Black Fleece Suits

I love the back bench sofa, chair dining area

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Men's elegant style

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Ralph+Lauren+Home+ oh I love the blue

Ralph Lauren

Ralph-Lauren-One-Fifth-Home-Collection

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Intolerance

Intolerance lies at the core of evil. Not the intolerance that results from any threat or danger. Not the intolerance that arises from negative experience. Just intolerance of another being who dares to exist, who dares to diminish the space in the universe left for you. Intolerance without cause.

It is so deep within us, because every human being secretly desires the entire universe to himself. Our only way out is to learn compassion without cause. To care for each other simply because that ’other’ exists.

20 Characteristics of a Real Man

Be Legendary with Chad Howsee Fitness

this guy’s pretty legit. but here’s my take on what characteristics the ‘ultimate man’ should possess.

Characteristics that a man should possess

First, let me start off by saying that I am in no way the authority of what a real man should be because I think that I possess every single one of these characteristics or values. Each and everyday I learn something new about myself, or even a new way of thinking.

One thing I have definitely learnt over the past year, is that life will humble you. It humbles all of us at one time or another, which is somethin that we either embrace, or we fight. If we resist, and we’re never humbled by ‘these moments’, we’ll never learn.

The first step we must take in becoming the man we are meant to be, is to realize exactly who we are, what our strengths and weaknesses are, and what we can offer the world. I’m not perfect. I’m terribly imperfect, and I’m reminded of it everyday, which allows me plenty of room for growth.

That being said, I’m pretty awesome, and you’re reading this blog, so you’re obviously pretty awesome as well So, I’d love to hear what you have to say.

Leave any additions to this article in the comments section by answering this question: what characteristics does the ideal man possess?

20 characteristics of a the ultimate man

1. A man treats women with respect. If you don’t respect women, you’re not a man. Period.
2. A man understands that greater happiness lies in helping others, not helping himself.
3. A man doesn’t stand still while the world passes him by, he continually pushes himself.
4. A man is a leader in at least one aspect of his life, whether this means his family, with his friends or just in general. But he can also follow. The world wouldn’t work if everyone was trying to lead in every aspect of life.
5. You can depend on a man. You can’t depend on a boy.
6. “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself.” ~ Galileo Galilei
A man is proud, often to a fault. He doesn’t “change” but rather evolves. Ladies, don’t try and change your man, but let him evolve into the man he’s meant to be.
7. A man doesn’t need to be able to fight or to protect himself and his family physically. But it helps. He does however need to be willing to do whatever it takes to keep his family safe and happy.
8. A man lives for something; a purpose beyond his own personal gains. This can come with time, and with family. It doesn’t always happen right away.
9. “Many of the greatest accomplishments of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”
A man gets depressed, he gets sad, he thinks about quitting and folding, but he never does. He pushes through adversity.
10. “When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” ~ Louis Nizer
A man has faults. It’s important to understand this.
11. A man can laugh at himself.
12. A man takes pride in how he looks and lives his life. He’s not ashamed by who he is, what he does or how he looks, even if he’s trying to change one of the aforementioned.
If you are, here’s a great resource to help you change that –> Click Here
13. “Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.” ~ Oscar Wilde
Men learn what is truly important over time. If they’re lucky, they’ll have a sense of it early on.
14. “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” ~ Oscar Wilde
If a man finds someone special, he doesn’t treat her like she’s everyone else.
15. A man has fears, but he isn’t ruled by them.
16. A man learns from his mistakes. Although he might take a few cracks at it.
17. A man does what is necessary. Even if it’s the hardest decision, or the most unpopular one.
18. A man can appreciate the greatness that is ‘The Gladiator’.
19. A man thrives on competition.
20. “For a man to achieve all that is expected of him, he must regard himself greater than he is.” ~ Johann Wolfgang

Be-Your-Own-Hero

Motivation

How to Create the Ultimate Bachelor Pad

Be Legendary with Chad Howsee Fitnes

Vito counselling Michael. I have this picture in my place.

Call it a man cave, a bachelor pad, or even call it your fortress of solitude. This is a room, an apartment, or a space with no female influence. This could be your office, your basement, or your whole damn house. But it’s yours. It reflects your personality. And it should serve a couple purposes:

1. To inspire. To motivate, and to maintain focus.

2. To calm. To relax, and be a place to unwind.

Two very different things, but two characteristics that are necessary in building the perfect space. This is a place of quality, not quantity. It’s a place with a definitive mood and purpose. It isn’t just a bunch of junk thrown together. There’s no wasted space. Nothing in the room that doesn’t somehow help motivate you, or help you relax.

So let’s get started. Here’s a step-by-step guide to building the perfect bachelor pad, man cave, or domain – whatever the hell you want to call it (this is all stuff that I’ve incorporated into my apartment).

1. The Liquor Cabinet


There’s nothing like a glass of Scotch at the end of a long day. It’s calming, it calms the nerves, and it can just completely relax you. I’ve built a solid liquor cabinet. I have a nice bottle of Amarone vino, the MaCallan 18-year Scotch, a bottle of Rogue Whisky, a very nice bottle of Brandy that I got as a gift, and a couple other bottles of Scotch.

I’m not a big drinker by any means, but it’s nice to have there in case friends come over, and for those couple nights a week when I just want to sit back and relax with a couple fingers of Scotch in a glass.
Pairing it with a cigar is bliss. Absolute bliss.

2. The Humidor + Ash Tray

If you like cigars, you need a humidor. It’s a waste to buy cigars and to not have a humidor. You can’t let them sit, you have to smoke them pretty soon after the purchase. I also suggest getting a nice, big ash tray. Something that looks nice in your place, but is also big enough to enjoy a smoke with a group of friends. I bought my ash tray in New York, the humidor in Vancouver.

Cigars are one of my guilty pleasures and essentials for any man cave. Have them in moderation – 1,2 a month max – but when you do have a cigar, enjoy it. Add a glass of Scotch and fade away. It’s as relaxing as life can be.
3. The Double-Reclining Couch

A couch where both ends recline is key. I’ve placed night stands at either end of the couch as well, so if two guys are playing video games or watching the fights, they can have a beer resting beside them.

I don’t spend a whole lot of time in my place at all, but when I’m there in the evening it’s relaxing time. In the morning, when I’m getting up at 5, or 5:30, it’s go time. Thus far I’ve talked about the relaxing aspect of the pad, now let’s get into the motivating side that every man cave should have.

4. The DVD Collection

Every guy should have a DVD collection. A collection of movies that are entertaining, inspirational and motivational are imperative for those nights when all you want to do is kick back and watch a movie. Or even during a work break when you want to come home and get a much needed kick in the butt to get out there and back to the grind, or even something that’ll get you inspired to train.

Some essentials that I have include the following:

Braveheart – Gladiator – the Godfather Trilogy – Cinderella Man – the Rocky’s – Goodfellas – Casino – Field of Dreams – Batman Begins – A Good Year – A Bronx Tale – A Beautiful Life – Rob Roy etc…

5. The Art

We don’t need a bunch of art in our pad’s that need explanation. It’s unnecessary. And so, a man’s art collection should reflect the kind of man that he is. It should reflect his interests, his passions, and it should motivate him to be the best man he can be.

My art includes a rare Godfather 1 where Michael Corleone is shooting the police chief in the restaurant, a picture of Steve Prefontaine with the quote “Giving anything less that your best, is to sacrifice the gift.” As well as a picture of James Dean with the quote, “Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die tomorrow.”

Here’s what to keep in mind: keep the same motif. I went with black and white photos and clear or black frames. Make sure you frame everything. Spend a little extra money and get a good frame, don’t just hang posters on your wall. Place them to look nice, but also place them in a way that will motivate you.

6. The White Board

Organization is key for any guy – any person – but especially guys. Women have a talent for being organized. A lot of men have a tendency to be the exact opposite – and I’m in that category.

What I did was I went out and bought a 4 foot by 3 foot clear plastic sheet and some erasable markers. I drew the outline of a week on the board with a permanent black marker, then fill my appointments, goals, and “to-do’s” for that week in every Sunday. I also have monthly and quarterly goals that I’ll put up on the white board.

It’s a great way to stay organized and focused. The more focused you are on your goals, the more likely you’re going to achieve them.

Note: Getting a clear plastic sheet – and even framing it – should cost $6. White boards can cost hundreds. Don’t waste your money with a white board, safe the dollar bills and make your own.

7. The Library

Today’s man is often stereotyped as the beer drinking moron that has nothing worth listening to say. Well, we’re not that man. No one I know is that man. And reading is a huge part of being a smarter, better, more well-equiped person.

A wise man once said: A home without books is a body without soul ~ Marcus Tillius Cicero.
A statement that I agree with. Up until the age of 19 I think I had read maybe one or two books, now I’ve got a budding library filled with classics, motivational, self-help, fiction, non-fiction, autobiographies, biographies… You name it, I’m going to read it – if I haven’t already.

The book shelf doesn’t have to look special by any means, it just has to be added to. I’ll read a new book every 2-3 weeks. And I buy books, I’m not a big library guy. My Dad on the other hand always goes to the library. He’s of the opinion that if you can get something for free, why the hell would you pay for it?

I love to highlight, then go over a book in the future. I like having them there like a trophy. I’ve read a few books as of late that I’ll keep for life. You can never waste money on a book. If you’re unsure about a book, go to the library and start reading it, if you like it, then go buy it and add it to your collection – my Dad does that as well. Smart man.

8. The Motivational Quote in the Washroom

I start my day’s at 5 – 5:30 am. The first thing I do is walk to the washroom and splash some cold water on my face – what a great feeling! Right next to my mirror is the quote, “”Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.” I love that quote.
I love knowing that great things come to those who work hard, and work smart. I have no delusions about success. It doesn’t come easy, and neither does building character. This quote reminds me every day of this simple, and important truth.

Find your quote(s), and put them in your bathroom where they’re very easily seen. Start your day by reminding yourself why you’re here and what you’re going to accomplish today.

muhammad-ali-greatness

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Asimo - within 15 years we'll all have them

The Art of Manliness

Should a Man Be Inspired by History?

by Brett & Kate McKay

The Art of Manliness makes no secret of the fact that we draw inspiration from the past in order to help modern men live better lives. We particularly pick up tips from my grandfather's generation, as thinking about his life was one of the catalysts for starting the site.

After four years of blogging, I've gathered that not everyone is particularly keen on that approach.
Whenever we do a post that lays out lessons from the lives of great men or from the so-called "Greatest Generation," it invariably attracts comments like:

"X famous man wasn't so great. He was a drunk/adulterer/slave owner…[fill in the blank with the perceived tragic flaw]."

Or-

"The Greatest Generation…pffft! Those racist/sexist/homophobes weren't any better than anyone else."
It seems that in our cynical age being inspired by men of the past has gone out of style along with having heroes or ideals of any sort.
But this wasn't always so. And today we'd like to make a case for finding inspiration in those who have come before.

A Brief History of History

When you think about history, you may conjure up a memory of a boring class in high school or college in which you had to memorize a bunch of dates and names and battles. Thus, you likely feel that history is a rather straightforward business—a just the facts, ma'am subject.

But as its name suggests, history is simply a story, and who is telling that story and how they tell it makes all the difference in the world.

Thus the story that gets handed down to each generation and how we feel about that story is always changing. History is quite a malleable thing and can be, and indeed is, shaped and re-shaped all the time.
For many centuries, history was looked at as a subject that was important to learn, and its importance was derived from the way it could be used to teach young people vital lessons about who they were and how to live. For the ancient Greeks, history's purpose was to teach morality. Plutarch, the famous Greek historian, explicitly stated that his intent in writing the Lives of Famous Greeks and Romans was to provide moral instruction to his reader.

This conception of history as moral instruction held firm in the West up through the 19th century. If you look at books for young folks from  the 1800′s, they're packed with examples from the lives of great men on how to do great deeds, be successful, and become honorable citizens. Some historical figures were portrayed as heroes, men to emulate, and some were portrayed as villains–their lives served as lessons to the student of mistakes not to repeat.

This was also a time of great reverence and respect for the nation's leaders. Take a look at the eulogies written after the death of George Washington, for example. They're amazingly flowery and over-the-top, making him out to be a saint of unassailably sterling character.

But in the wake of disillusionment that arose after WWI, historians of the 1920s began to reexamine history and its dominating figures and events with a much more cynical eye. Writer William Woodward invented the word "debunk" during this time (riffing on the practice of "delousing" soldiers in WWI), and picked George Washington as the object of his de-bunkification. Woodward painted Washington not as a dashing hero, but as grossly incompetent, boorishly clumsy, and greedy for fame and money.

The trend of debunking the traditional view of history accelerated in the 1960s, when new historians sought to tell the stories of women, minorities, and other groups that had all but been ignored for centuries. As their untold stories emerged, some historians also took another look at the way traditional history had been portrayed, examining the standard narratives from a new angle, and arguing that what was once seen as good and heroic, really wasn't so noble after all. Howard Zinn's People's History of the United States is the most popular example of this approach to history.

A good illustration of the transformation in how we view and use history can be found in a very interesting article about the ways in which the modern Boy Scout handbook has changed since it was first published in 1911. Author Kathleen Arnn describes how in the original handbook, the young reader learns about:
"America's great moments through the heroes who lived them: George Washington, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Daniel Boone, Betsy Ross, Johnny Appleseed, and most of all, Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln is a hero among heroes, a central figure in the handbook's discussions of patriotism and of virtue. He is "in heart, brain, and character, not only one of our greatest Americans, but one of the world's greatest men." The manual relays the whole story of his life, from his lowly beginnings that taught him the value of hard work, to his education, and to his presidency and untimely death."

In the modern edition, references to great men of the past have almost entirely disappeared:

"There are, by my count, four heroes in the book. They are the founders of Scouting: British founder Robert Baden Powell, the naturalist Ernest Thompson Seton, outdoorsman Daniel Carter Beard, and James E. West, who led the BSA through its first 30 years. Each gets a sentence and a picture. American heroes, so numerous and colorful in the original handbook, are almost absent. Washington and Lincoln are each mentioned one time. Here is their sentence: 'We remember the sacrifices and achievements of Americans with federal holidays, including observances of the birthdays of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'"

While "revisionist history" gets a bad name, it's a needed thing; the revision of history by each generation and storyteller has been going on since the beginning of time. Our views of history change, and should change, as we learn new facts and hear new perspectives.

However, as with most cultural movements, in a well-intentioned attempt to dislodge the pendulum from being stuck too far in one direction, the weight swung too far in the other.

These days the stuff of Zinn is standard fare in college classrooms, and history is rarely used as inspirational material. If you talk about a good aspect of a great man or generation, you are expected to immediately follow up with a list of their flaws and mistakes as well. If you don't, you're seen as a rube who has swallowed the traditional version of history and isn't in on the new "secret" information that has been revealed. The self-satisfaction of those who consider themselves in the know and like to give you the "real scoop" is invariably palatable.

Thus the fact that we present the good bits about the lives of great men without cataloging their failings is a source of irritation for some who read the blog. (And this isn't a liberal vs. conservative thing by the way: we get "Theodore Roosevelt was a socialist and Lincoln was a tyrant!" along with "Churchill was a racist and Hemingway was a misogynist!" in equal measure.)

But we don't concentrate on the achievements and wisdom of history's great men because we are ignorant of their blemishes, or of history as a whole. Kate taught college history, and I studied classical history as an undergrad, and we read many history books each year. We're by no means professional historians, but we're hardly uneducated dolts either.

In actuality, the more we read about history, the more it inspires us. Because we approach our studies with a certain frame of mind.

A Mature Mindset

When you're a kid, you tend to see things in black and white. Heroes are super good. Bad people are rotten to the core.

As you get older, you start to see things in shades of gray. You learn that people are more complicated and complex than you once knew. This maturing perspective has its drawbacks—it's harder to be passionate about things and have heroes when you know they're not perfect, but it's also essential to learning, growing, progressing, and being effective in the world.

Men who cannot be inspired by history are stuck in the black and white children's view of the world. A famous man can have a multitude of great traits, but if he also had a big flaw, then nothing can be learned from him. Out goes the baby with the bathwater.

But we're big believers in holding onto to that slippery baby. The reason we focus on the good aspects of the lives of great men on the site is not because we are unaware of their flaws, but because the purpose of the articles is not to provide a full biographical sketch, but to discover what these men did right and explore what honorable manliness looks like. They're specifically about the good bits. Maturity means knowing the time and place for things; you don't enumerate a man's failings when giving his eulogy, for example. Again, it does not mean you're ignorant of those failings, but that you choose to focus on certain aspects at certain times for certain purposes

A mature mindset also involves the ability to be inspired by the good bits despite the bad bits and realizing that one does not necessarily negate the other. The mature man does not turn his eyes from a historical figure's flaws, but he does not let those flaws eclipse the lessons to be learned from the person's life. He is able to sift the wheat from the chaff.

How does a man gain this sifting ability? He is able to view historical figures just as he views himself. He himself has a great many flaws—and yet he loves himself all the same! When he thinks about himself, he thinks of his good qualities, and would never say that the mistakes he's made blot out his redeeming characteristics. This is also how men see those they love. A man's father might have made some mistakes, but he still speaks of him as a great man and seeks to emulate the things he did right.

The reason we can be so generous with ourselves is that we seek to understand our mistakes with rationalizations like, "Well, that was my view then, but it's changed now." "Everyone was doing that at the time." "I just got caught up with what was happening." "I was depressed then." "I couldn't have gotten the job if I hadn't said that." "I didn't know all the facts at that time." And yet all these mitigating factors apply not just to you, but to all the men of history!

But…But!

Ironically, those who are unable to see the flaws of great men more generously through the prism of the person's circumstances, tend to be those who also disparage their accomplishments, chalking them merely up to, well, circumstances.

For example, if you praise the frugality of my grandfather's generation, someone will retort that Gramps was only able to avoid debt because of things like the GI Bill and low housing prices. They argue that the Greatest Generation was only great because of the advantages they enjoyed that we are no longer privy to.
But greatness is not begotten from circumstances, but from how those circumstances are used and turned to a man's favor. Or in other words, while Gramps may have enjoyed lower housing costs, he was also quite happy about living in a 750 square foot house in Levittown as opposed to a 4,000 square foot McMansion (the average home size has more than doubled since the 1950s).

As Frederick Douglass put it:

"I do not think much of the good luck theory of self-made men. It is worth but little attention and has no practical value. An apple carelessly flung into a crowd may hit one person, or it may hit another, or it may hit nobody. The probabilities are precisely the same in this accident theory of self-made men. It divorces a man from his own achievements, contemplates him as a being of chance and leaves him without will, motive, ambition and aspiration. Yet the accident theory is among the most popular theories of individual success. It has about it the air of mystery which the multitudes so well like, and withal, it does something to mar the complacency of the successful."

And of course it isn't hard to see in hindsight the advantages others enjoyed that led to their success. And yet I can easily see how my grandchildren could point to numerous advantages that we have…and yet how little we turned those advantages to our favor and let things go to pot.

And this really gets to the crux of my generation's tendency to disparage the past–we don't feel like we're doing too hot, and we want to believe that our lack of accomplishments is due to circumstances entirely outside of our control. Douglass again:

"It is one of the easiest and commonest things in the world for a successful man to be followed in his career through life and to have constantly pointed out this or that particular stroke of good fortune which fixed his destiny and made him successful. If not ourselves great, we like to explain why others are so. We are stingy in our praise to merit, but generous in our praise to chance. Besides, a man feels himself measurably great when he can point out the precise moment and circumstance which made his neighbor great. He easily fancies that the slight difference between himself and his friend is simply one of luck. It was his friend who was lucky, but it might easily have been himself. Then too, the next best thing to success is a valid apology for non-success. Detraction is, to many, a delicious morsel."

A man can be showered with numerous opportunities, and yet squander them all away. Circumstances help, but personal responsibility and agency determine our fate.

And this is why a man should study and let himself be inspired by history! It can teach him how to turn his own opportunities into success and character.

My generation tends to believe that everyone is special and that no one is better than anyone else. "Every generation is just the same," they say. But while it's true that every generation has its own strengths and weaknesses, what those particular strengths and weaknesses consist of is unique. And if we humble ourselves, we can work on our weaknesses by learning from the strengths of the men of the past, just as we hope that our grandchildren will learn from the things that we're doing right.